The power of words – “normal” possibly the most destructive word in the English language.

A bold heading, I hear you say. Maybe, but give it some thought. Have you ever stopped to think what the word “normal” means?
My OED says that “normal” in the sense that it is an adjective, is “usual, typical or expected.” I’m glad that clears that up.
But wait, stop the bus. Does that help? I don’t think so.
Consider this. There are about 65million people in the UK and around 7.7billion world wide. Are they all “normal?” it all depends on how you see things, what your perspective is.
Consider a fit, healthy serviceman or servicewoman. They have passed some sort of physical and mental aptitude tests to be admitted into the armed forces. They are deployed and unfortunately, that person loses both legs in combat. They come home in a wheelchair. One might say that they were “normal” before they left but are they “normal” now?
Their mental capacity and function is unchanged but they can’t get around like most other people. If they are not “normal” then it stands to reason that they must be “abnormal.”
Like above, the OED doesn’t help much here, it defines the adjective “abnormal” as “differing from what is normal or typical.”
By that definition, not normal is different and not typical.
So, if someone is not with an as yet to be defined set of parameters, they are abnormal. What if someone is of higher than average IQ and say, by some margin. Are they “abnormal” for being clever? Is someone abnormal for being 6 foot 6 tall which is quite a bit taller than the average?
We can easily see how if we choose to consider those who do not readily fit into some preconceived idea of conformity, then there will be a considerable amount of people who may be considered “abnormal.”
Frightening, isn’t it?
Very frightening.
So, if we are not all a single white male, say between 18 and 40, with blue eyes, medium length brown hair, about 5 foot 10 foot tall with size 8 feet and have no tattoos and piercings and have a size 32 to 34 waist then because we do not fit that “standard description” then we must be abnormal.
The more and more you look at it the more you will realise that none of us are “normal,” and rather than being described as “abnormal” why don’t we come to accept that we are all unique and have our own skills and specialties that give us something different from the next person.
I am an overweight middle aged man with tattoos and Asperger’s Syndrome. Good luck trying to find a pigeon hole for me to fit in. Don’t bother trying, I know I am one of a kind and I am the most important thing, ME. I am me and my uniqueness makes me, just like all of you, very special indeed.
Don’t try to be normal, just be yourself because everyone else is taken.

I don’t usually do politics, but…

… it is 3 months until the most significant presidential election of a generation, perhaps of all time. What happens on November 8 2016 in the United States of America will have a dramatic impact on the stability of the world and the future of those who live on it.

There are two main candidates, one a Democrat who many people hate because of her political background and a second, the Republican who preaches hate and bigotry at every turn. Some say, what choice is there?

But wait, there is a third option and one that I believe will gain momentum like a gathering storm in the coming weeks and it will come from within. In a recent development, neither former Republican presidents George Bush or George W Bush said they would support Donald Trump for president. Think about that. Two right wing and perhaps at least from one of them, extreme and reckless in much that he did, will not support the candidate from their own party.

I have been watching developments from afar and there have been senior figures in the Republican party who have openly said they do not support Donald Trump for president. That is almost unprecedented in American politics. More and more of these people, and many are moderate in their views, have this view and I believe that this trend will grow to such an extent that as the time gets closer, some will look for an alternative. This will be particularly the case of Donald Trump’s opinion poll figures slide and show an increasing gap to Hillary Clinton.

Here is what I think will happen. since before the nomination process began one senior Republican figure has been noticeably quiet and has kept himself in the background, while still being in the debate. He declined to put himself up for nomination and has not been part of the last year’s selection process. As more and more Republicans turn away from Donald Trump, somehow, and I have no idea how, but somehow Donald Trump will be ditched by his party in favour of that candidate who many will see as one who will unite the party and provide a genuine contender to Hillary Clinton.

That person is Mitt Romney.

I read articles well over a year ago that predicted that Mitt Romney would come in at the last gasp to save the Republican party and rally them into a coherent alternative to Hillary Clinton.

Keep a close watch on what happens across the pond, things are about to become very interesting particularly as a review of polls on 6 August had Hillary Clinton leading by between 5 and 8.9%. If that grows much bigger watch out for the Republican party start to fall apart ready for Mitt Romney to come charging in to save them in the nick of time.

In my view, Romney v Clinton will be a much closer call than Trump v Clinton. One thing is certain, if Donald Trump becomes president of the USA, be worried, be very worried, global annihilation could be just around the corner. 

 Don’t forget, a week is a long time in politics, these three months will be crucial.

Asperger’s Life Solutions part 3, the search for stillness

As someone with Asperger’s Syndrome one of life’s great challenges is finding stillness. My mind is always racing along at a hundred miles an hour filling up with scenarios about anything.

I can be walking down the street and see someone walking towards me. I don’t get, “oh, someone else, hope he/she is fine today.”

I get “What of he had a gun and grabbed that lady by the hair and pushed her through the plate glass window of that shop severing her arm.” With that “thought” comes a myriad of possible follow on scenarios of that scene all the way up to the press conference after the court case. All in glorious full streaming Technicolor and there is nothing I can do to stop it at any point. I get the full length directors cut, all in an instant.

Then as I try to “forget it” another scenario happens and so on until there is just full sensory overload.

It is not easy being able to have “nothing” going on in my head, or just a simple pleasant thought.

If I can put it another way, as I understand it, for neuro-typical people they can walk into a room and have the sensation of a dimly lit light bulb. For me, I walk into the same room and it is like Blackpool illuminations in the rush hour. Complete sensory overload.

Finding ways to quieten the mind had always been a challenge for me and over the years I have tried many things from breathing exercises, meditation, yoga, tai chi and other techniques.

These techniques can be used to reduce the amount of stuff going on in my head, but with the sheer volume of activity around me in everyday life, it can be a struggle. “Going out” to things or events and so on is a big challenge for me because I will be bombarded with opportunities for my brain to overload me. And it does, all of the time.

Since I have become a hypnosis and NLP practitioner I have been able to understand a little more of how I work. Coupled with the Asperger’s diagnosis last year the understanding that I am wired differently  has helped me “tune out” a little easier.

Asperger’s Life Solutions Part 2, Distractions

As someone with Asperger’s Syndrome, one of my greatest challenges is finding a peaceful and quiet mind. My mind is constantly racing, filling itself with one live streaming event after another on almost any topic. Most are less than completely pleasant and some are sickening and horrible, yet there is little I can do to turn them off. I try, then almost instantly like turning on a DVD is starts again through the gruesome parts.

At times like that I try to find a distraction and immerse myself in whatever that is. But it is extremely difficult when in an almost Shining like “here’s Johnny!”  moment that live feed can burst through and start up again.

My writing helps because I can get fully into the story and let that play out as though watching it on a big screen. It can be a great way of finding new plot twists and taking the story on from where I am, but also to “live it” as though standing on the shoulder of the narrator. When in this state I am energised with the story but in a peaceful still way. I can be in that state for hours as long as I am left to “be”.

Another distraction that works for me is watching my favourite films on DVD. I can watch them over and over again and can skip parts that I find unpleasant or distressing and that doesn’t have to be the violent/action parts. It can be the softest and most tender scene, but to me it is too much emotion and I get overwhelmed.

I remember as a child I would have a pack of cards in my hand whenever I could and would spend hours shuffling them and playing patience. Back then I didn’t know why I was doing that, but now I do. I was finding something to concentrate on that was distracting my mind from whatever distressing “film strip” it decided to play.

Even now it only takes the flash of a thought to take me back to my childhood or a situation that I found distressing and for it to play out in all its horrible glory and there is virtually nothing I can do to stop it, other than try to find a strong distraction to save me from emotional overload.

To those of you who do have Asperger’s Syndrome, and I do know we are all different and have our own particular triggers and sensitivities, I would recommend that you find a simple thing to do that you can concentrate on that will distract your mind from “going there” to the places that cause you distress.

For more information on Andrew Marsh and his therapy business including tips for dealing with Asperger’s Syndrome please visit my website http://www.fireflytherapies.co.uk

 

 

Asperger’s Life Solutions, Part 1

Where to start? Somewhere near the beginning I suppose. The “beginning” of this episode of my life started last year when at 51 years of age I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. I score quite highly in a number of parts of the spectrum and now have a word that can explain or account for how I behave or interact with the outside world.

It has been nearly a year since my diagnosis and the most important word for that year is “understanding.” The diagnosis has brought me an understanding that I am wired in a certain way and that wiring governs how I “behave” in given situations. Having that understanding has helped, but not taken away the daily struggle I have with my interaction with others.

This blog is part 1 of a series of blogs that I shall be writing in the coming weeks and months that is aimed at helping those with Asperger’s and also, those who live with or interact with people who have Asperger’s Syndrome.

How can I do this?

Firstly, and most importantly, I have nearly 52 years’ experience of how I stumbled through life and what methods I used to cope. Sometimes, I failed spectacularly at coping and had what I would now call “an Asperger’s meltdown.” Back then, it was just anger, tears, frustration and pain.

Secondly, after an earlier career as a geologist in the construction industry up to the end of 2009 I have retrained as an NLP and Eriksonian Hypnosis Practitioner and also as a Relaxation Therapist. I now have a range of skills and techniques at my disposal that I can use to help people with Asperger’s Syndrome. I can help them identify ways that can de-stress them, calm them and recognize triggers that could otherwise lead to an episode or “attack.”

So, come along and join me on the journey together. Together we can see what works for you and those around you cope better with your Asperger’s Syndrome in your daily life.

 

Are you in yet?

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There is no use having the best product in a market if no one ever finds out about it.

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The saying goes, “The money is in the list” and it is so true.

In the system I am an affiliate in, The Traffic Authority, it generates huge numbers of leads and customers for entrepreneurs who are making big money. One chap, Mr X earned over $100,000 in a month, yes, a month. There are testimonials from others who have earned $10,000 in 90 days and so on. The rewards are huge.

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Talk soon.

The groundswell is coming

I try no to listen to the news these days, all I see are mass killings, welfare cuts and people who are at war with themselves, desperately seeking an outlet for their anger.

Our governments are behaving like out of control generals and all they can think of is who do we blame next and when can we start military action to make ourselves feel better, rather than be sane adults about complex world issues and find diplomatic peaceful solutions.

In every society there are always a small minority who will protest, stand up for what they believe in and say no, not in my name. The problem has been is that this group of people are essentially radicals and therefore do not appeal to the everyday man or women in the street. Their voice is ignored and the fly is swatted away.

Not now, there has been far too much. It is time for change and more and more everyday people, or the common man if you will, have had enough. They see injustice heaped upon injustice, bankers rewarded for bringing us to our knees and politicians who are increasingly jumping on the warmongering bandwagon.

As Bob Dylan once wrote, “The times they are a changing” and I believe that someday soon, enough will be enough and a great groundswell of popular opinion will rise from their comfortable seats in front of the television, look up from their mobile devises and say NO. Not in my name.

They will have had enough of big business and corrupt governments ruining our lives and the planet we live on and they will take to the streets and demand change. It will happen so spontaneously that “they” won’t see it coming and on that everyday Tuesday afternoon the media will have no option but to take notice and then it will begin.

People power has made great change in many countries over the centuries, it can happen again and I for one have no doubt that once people in this country wake up to what is really happening, decisive change will be inevitable.

#groundswell

#notinmyname

#peoplepower

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